Monday, July 3, 2023

Do NOT go see the Horrid new Indiana Jones

In the midst of all the bad news, here's some more. 

We went with some close friends to see the latest "Indiana Jones." 

What can I possibly say except, what we all thought at the end, "DON'T GO! Save your money!" Dreadful film. I hope it goes bust. Yeah, Disney another winner from you. 

I had been warned not to go because the thing was a woke travesty. I found, however, that the woke crap, e.g., a badass black Guyanese woman as a top FBI agent in 1969, proved the least objectionable aspect of "Indiana Jones." It had so much more to detest.

Let's start with the major casting. Harrison Ford is Harrison Ford, and Indiana Jones is his, much like James Bond belonged to Sean Connery, or Dirty Harry to Clint Eastwood. You could replace him, but, nah. Ol' Harrison, however, has gotten rather old so it might be time to hang up the fedora. He, nevertheless, was fine in this film to the extent that anything was fine. 

There was a total waste of some fine actors such as Mads Mikkelson who played a weird Werner von Braun type hard-core Nazi--lots of Nazis in the film; also wasted was Toby Jones who didn't get much to do except be surprised by everything. Most of the other actors, meh, nothing to write home about.

The one who absolutely, positively ruined the film almost from the start was the extremely unfunny, uncharismatic, and just goofy-looking British "comedienne," Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She is not funny, charming, or appealing in any way. Who thought she would fit into this film? She was supposed to be Indiana Jones's goddaughter and, oh, who cares? She was awful. Madame Tussaud could have produced a better actor. She alone is the reason to avoid this film.

The producers obviously spent a lot of money on the movie, lot of location shooting, and some of the CGI was quite impressive, especially the de-aging of Harrison Ford. Most of the film, however, was just boring nonsense interspersed with seemingly endless chase scenes: on foot, in trains, in cars, on horseback, on motorcycles, on tuk-tuks, on boats, in airplanes, YAWN. Some good movie sets, e.g., the train, and some terrible ones, e.g., NYC in the 1960s. Then when they ran out of every other idea, TIME TRAVEL! Yes, we need Romans and ancient Greeks, yeah, that's the ticket . . .  Just a total lack of imagination. The give-away on that, by the way, is that the writing "credits" go to several people including the director. When you see that, almost always means the film is in trouble.

This franchise is dead.

Anyhow, avoid.

That is all.

20 comments:

  1. There are only three Indiana Jones movies.

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    Replies
    1. This. The first three films had a theme - that the supernatural is real, very powerful, and extremely dangerous to meddle with. The 4th film broke with this, and threw in the "secret bastard son" trope that has become hackneyed through overuse.

      I won't even mention the 5th trash.

      Delete
    2. The first three were the only ones I saw.

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  2. Disney is the kiss of death to whatever they touch.

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  3. A friend saw it and liked it. Now, I wonder about him.

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  4. Are they killing Lucas' films only? Or plugging off each piggie only to aim at the next one?
    Those Stars Wars 'sequels' were not even fit for my waste bin.
    I can spoil it all.. get this.. in return of the jedi, the emperor didn't actually die, because in disney world, everybody eats their own poop.

    - reader #1482

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  5. Phoebe Waller-Bridge bears a suspicious resemblance to Sandra Fluke.

    https://legalinsurrection.com/2016/02/columbia-student-wants-free-tampons/

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  6. I've not been to the kinema since 2006. Before that it must have been 1995, to see Ang Lee's Sense and Sensibility. Pretty good.

    I am excepting taking the offspring: I do remember enjoying the Jungle Book (1967) which was therefore decades old when we saw it. Rather brilliant, I thought.

    I have watched a recent film on the telly: Master and Commander (2003). Excellent.

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  7. I've been watching a lot of Youtube reviews on this hot mess. It seems that Disney put Kathleen Kennedy in charge of utterly destroying all the IP that Disney spent billions on.

    Star Wars is dead now. (Somehow she wasn't allowed within a mile of Rogue One)

    They had to reshoot almost the entire film and redo the ending.

    Disney has been dropping more bombs then the 8th Airforce dropped on Germany.

    Disney is all but broke. They have maybe $200 million cash on hand and a $9+ billion dollar bill coming next year. (Probably a lot more) Comcast is forcing them to buy out their share of Hulu.

    Disney has gone woke and is going broke.

    Check out legal mindset on YouTube. He knows things about Disney.

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  8. The wife wanted to go see it but I said no as it will be on Disney+ in 3 months. I get it for free through my cell phone contract.

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  9. Charles CornwallisJuly 4, 2023 at 3:04 AM

    Just wanted to wish you all a happy July 4th. A friend wanted to watch a historical drama about Mary, Queen of Scots, set during the 1500s. Never knew there were so many black Scottish nobles back then.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe some damn fool is taking the distinction between the Black Douglas and the Red Douglas literally. But it's likelier just to be the New Religion at work in all its self-regarding stupidity.

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    2. No, it's being done deliberately. Like having a Pakistani (before it existed) Wing Commander commanding an RAF base in the UK during the Battle of Britain on yet another UK produced travesty a few years back. Or those godawful regency series replete with racially transplanted historically characters. Awful, awful, awful.

      Delete
  10. From Brazil, I wish you a Happy July 4th! Wish it were under better circumstances, here and there, but one can only hope that the leftist madness will end, eventually. BTW, Indiana Jones 5 is the worst film since The Rise of Skywalker. Wonder what they have in common...

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  11. So, NOW you tell me!...
    FYI:
    Wife came home from an expensive visit to a
    Luncheon at Applebee's Rest. yesterday~~~
    she dined with a trio of Pool Pal Gals, a
    Lawyer, a Teacher, and the Sheriff's Mo-
    ther! Evidently, it appears, the Gals were
    dealt a fast one~~~by a clever up-seller
    aka A Waiter, who got the gullible Gals
    over a barrel, hooking customers on,
    expensive & very tasty desserts~~~

    The Flim-Flam went something
    like this:~~~
    The Silver tongued Devil/Waiter shows back up
    at the table, as the Gals are finishing their entree's...
    'Says he:
    "We have delicious miniature $8 Cinnamon Rolls for dessert~~~
    and if you'd like them, your individual total luncheon costs, of over $35 ea will get ya'all ~~~
    a FREE TICKET to
    Harrison Ford's New~~~
    Block Buster Movie~~~
    Indiana Jones!

    WHEN I asked the Mrs.
    "...when are you gals going?"
    She said:
    "That's the Kicker"~~~
    "They aren't showing it at our Theater!"

    A Sad Affair Indeed~~ ];+{>
    'Sancho My Sword'~~
    Fans, Buyers, Diners, et al, Beware!
    Hollywood is_________(fill in the blanks)

    On Watch~~~
    PS Thinking I may just print & frame 3 copies of the,
    Dip~low~Mad's "Horrid new Indiana Jones" Review
    and Mebe get them Autographed by the Big Dipster:
    & or ELONzo, at the next really BIG Twitter Affray!?

    "Let's Roll"
    Happy 4th Amigos!

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  12. Used to be called(reverently by some) INDEPENDENCE DAY. Now it's just July 4th...

    With sparklers...

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  13. Indiana Jones and the Dial of the Old Pay Phone?

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    Replies
    1. Deposit twenty five cents please.

      Delete
  14. Sequel, Indiana Jones Dines on Gruel, Tries Out His New Walker.


    Paul Vincent Zecchino
    Commenter # 58 7/16 in Exile

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  15. Nazis... yawn. WWII ended almost 80 years ago. Time to find some new villains.

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