We got some crappy blue masks from Amazon and off we went: cue William Tell Overture . . .
We looked like extras in a cheapo Netflix dystopian future movie. We joined a small spiritless crowd of other masked extras wandering in the cavernous expanse of Costco. While we walked, loud speakers regaled us with the latest revealed wisdom from the CDC. "Members! Remember to wear your masks. Members! Keep six feet apart!" We had marks on the floor to tell us in which direction to march and where to stand. While the Diplowife went off to look at vacuum cleaners, I wandered, careful to maintain my prescribed social distance, over to the meat counter. There a burly masked man in a white coat dispensed "one meat product per member!" to the beaten down throng in line. In America?!? You must stand in line to get "one meat product"? Did I get transported back to 1970s Georgetown, Guyana? Am I in Venezuela? Where is the portrait of Hugo Chavez? 1960s China? Where is Mao?
What is happening? All this because of a virus not much deadlier than the typical flu season . . . insanity driven by "experts" and their models . . .
This still being America, however, I retained access to my computer . . . at least for now, that is.
Bored, frustrated, angry, I did what Americans always have done in times of crisis . . . shop online.
Thank you, Al Gore!
I ordered this brand new baby from a Chevy dealer in Nashua, New Hampshire a few days before my Costco misadventure:
I wanted a black, manual transmission, ZO6 coupe; the Diplowife wanted a red, automatic transmission, Stingray, convertible . . . so we compromised. You can see the compromise: a red, automatic transmission, Stingray, convertible . . . sigh. In the three days or so I have had it, I have placed not quite 5 miles on it. The Diplowife says I can't drive the Stingray if it's going to rain; that might get water spots on it. I can't drive it when it's sunny; the pollen, you understand . . .
I have sat in it in the garage, paired my cell phone to the nifty entertainment center, and activated the satellite radio.
I hear the car drives great, but will have to read the reviews to find out . . .
You're welcome, America. Not all heroes wear capes . . .
Nashua NH? That's where I live. Small world.
ReplyDeleteAnd I believe I know the dealer. Does it begin with an "M"?
Yes, indeed. Great folks. I am going to provide a link for their business.
DeleteI had a nice red RX7 the first year they came out. Quite the cop catcher...
ReplyDeleteNot if I don't get to drive it . . . .sigh
DeleteOne thing I have noticed is the number of new Corvettes I see wiped out on the freeway. The streets are wet much of the year in Portland, and new buyer jumps into the throttle on an on ramp, the back end breaks loose and spins into the shoulder. Keep your foot out of it, they have a lot of HP and not a lot of weight. Also, that car is not yours. Go buy another one.
ReplyDeleteAh, can't drive it in the rain nor sun. Heh.
ReplyDeleteI am getting really sick of this social distancing nonesense. My workplace finally mandated masks...because they got their shipment in this week. The state is doing fine; mask wearing = closing the barn door after the horse has bolted.
Dip, once you are seated in the car, how do you manage to get out? I'm well over 6 feet and it looks challenging.
ReplyDeleteI am only 5'10 and it IS challenging. I can't imagine how anybody over 6' could get in and out and sit in it.
DeleteI have 90 Porsche 928 5sp and am 6'4". There is no way I can climb in/out and look fashionable - heck I look like I need someone to hold me. I have the seat tilted back and get about .75" of head-roof clearance. But once I'm strapped in, I forget all of that!
DeleteWhen it comes to masks y'all will maybe find - providing y'all can find good seamstresses (or seamsterpersons as the case may be nowadays) wearing masks that's got either of these two phrases stitched across from ear-to-ear:
ReplyDelete'Trump 2020'
Or
'MAGA'
"Somehow" satisfying.
(Yes there's a backstory but the comment would necessarily be long.)
I call it "economic seppuku"
ReplyDeleteI've been to Costco several times since March 1. The last two times with mask and gloves. First I was going to go with a Darth Vader mask, but i would need the cape and all the rest, so the joke isn't worth $700. Then I thought of Guy Fawkes from V for Vendetta, but the mask, hat and wig will run $40. I've taken to telling anyone who looks old enough, "Don't you think this outlaw bit's done gotten outta hand?" Much longer and I'll sing it in store aisles.
Who was that Masked Man?
ReplyDeleteI wasn't quite sure~~~
Then there was a cloud of dust,
and a Hearty Hi HO Silver
So Some Squinty Eyed rounder
Came outta the kitchen hollerin
"No Crackers for your Zoup"
Then the Indian Jumped on
the meat man and said
Get em up scout!
Thats when I went back
to Lowes and bought the
CarVac for 19.99 and change...
A real Steal! "Let's Roll"
I buy my wife the car she likes, and then I buy myself the car she likes.
ReplyDeleteDon't I know that feeling. Cars, entrees, desserts, drinks, whatever I get, my wife suspects mine is better than hers. Simple solution though: get two of everything. Worked for ice cream cones last week, when we took an outing in one of our TWO BMW Z4 convertibles.
DeleteCorrect me if I"m wrong, but that's a 2019 vette? The 2020 model is supposedly sold out into 2022. Not due to corona panic hoarding, but because Corvette finally fixed a 70 year old design flaw. Yes, Chevy finally figured out that the engine is supposed to be placed in the middle of the car. No longer do they gum the engine onto the front with duct tape and bailing wire, but instead build a car around the engine. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of the 2020.
ReplyDelete(apologize for being a mid-engine chauvinist dictator.. I'm sure I'll be tarred and feathered for maintaining 'a preference' in The Age of Intolerance Intolerance.
- reader #1482
and regardless... nice wheels.. I think it's very arguably "the last great vette for a long time".. likely a collector car for a special diplograndchild...
Delete- reader #1482
and of course.. did the vacuum fit in the vette, or did you have to put the top down? :)
Delete- reader #1482
It is a new 2019. Could not get a 2020.
DeleteBut the engine could be Mid-front, like the RX-7, and have almost the same effect. True, not the same effect as having all those transversely mounted cylinders pounding away mere inches from your head, but . . .
DeleteYou must stand in line to get "one meat product"? Did I get transported back to 1970s Georgetown, Guyana? Am I in Venezuela? Where is the portrait of Hugo Chavez? 1960s China? Where is Mao?
ReplyDeleteWhat is happening? All this because of a virus not much deadlier than the typical flu season . . . insanity driven by "experts" and their models . . .
Actually, people are worried about the workers in the meat-packing plants that actually got sick, threatening the supply chain. I'm hearing from some usually sober observers that this is a good time to stock the freezer with meat, if you want to make sure you have some.
I'm thinking of getting a pellet gun, which I believe to still be legal in the People's Republic of Connecticut. Squirrel is tasty, and they deserve to die for the way they keep playing with my house's roof.
ReplyDeleteAs of last Wednesday marks were required everywhere here unless you have a medical issue with them. I was denied entrance to the grocery store on Thurday because "the law says", and the idiot manager obviously hadn't read the law. Other stores were pulling the same crap but had stopped by Saturday; they were either threatened with an ADA lawsuit, or the state got enough complaints so they sent out further guidance.
Husband and I hit Super Walmart and the BJ's Tuesday, and didnt see anyone else without a mask, but no one seemed the least bit annoyed with us, unlike previous visits. There was no rationing, but the meat section at BJ's was mostly empty.
If you ever visit eastern NC, the old timers know how to make squirrel stew. Cooked in a large black pot suspended over hot coals all afternoon. Quite good.
Delete..."Squirrel is tasty, and they deserve to die..." Gryff
DeleteTrue dat! Cep'n they jacket is tuff to git off, lessn you knows whereat the zipper is!
hOWlin Woof~~~
gettn hongry
Looks like being a Gubmint tax feeder pays pretty well.
ReplyDeleteHate to bust your budding narrative but no tax money was involved in the purchase. I don't live off the tax-payers.
DeleteThe whole mask thing is theater. My wife was a nurse before she retired and has described hospital protocols for wearing masks to be sure they are effective. Just putting a mask on is nowhere close to what is required where they really are supposed to work, e.g., in hospitals.
ReplyDeleteAnd, by the way, regarding the compromise on the car, no government dictatorship can come within a mile of a wife's dictatorship. And we love it! Yes, we do! Really, we do!
Please give the details of the protocol. My Leftist brothers and their Stalinist wives are convinced this is the black death. Of course they are within the target demographic.
DeleteI did brave the Costco silliness this week. Line was around the building to get in at geezer hour.
ReplyDeleteHowever, buying the biggest packs of meat they had, 3 items translated to 24 meals in the freezer for the 2 of us.
Sure, the masks are stupid. But they're a private business and can set what rules they wish. I'm free to go or not. This is not Venezuela -- yet.
I have said that face masks are basically like talismans, allowing the primitive and weak-minded to indulge the idea that they have some magical protection.
ReplyDelete