The Emperor Tells A Joke?

Well, the Anointed One, the Healer of the Planet, the Master of Hope and Change, Barack Caesar Obama, Emperor of the USA, has issued his "edict" on immigration "reform." While, of course, we all want to bow down and obey -- for such is the state of affairs in our former Republic -- the Emperor, in fact, is having a little fun with us all. To quote Gertrude Stein, "there is no there there."

A few words on context.

With HM Barack, context is the most important issue. Over the past six years, he has built an Empire of Lies. He is a calculating teller of tall tales. These whoppers have a major purpose, actually a couple. The lies, of course, hide the real agenda behind whatever Obama is up to at that particular moment, and they serve to distract from his previous lies when the prior lies are coming to the end of their lifecycle. It is a never-ending cycle of lies to cover lies to cover lies. It exhausts his opponents. He wears them down. The fog of bore.

Think back over the years of Obama lies. It's hard to remember them all. His upbringing? Solyndra? Fast and Furious? Definition of marriage? Unemployment and deficit figures? IRS scandal? Benghazi? Obamacare? There are lots of others which you can fill in. Now we have immigration.

For years HM Barack told us that he did not have the power to alter our immigration system because he is not "emperor." Such a kidder our Supreme Ruler is! He strung along the Latino lobby for years, until just right after the disastrous midterm elections. Then--Suddenly!--it was imperative, urgent, not a moment to be lost in "reforming" the broken immigration system! The drubbing in the midterms coincided in the news cycle with the Gruber videos and the Obamacare architect's smug gloating over how he and HM Barack had fooled the stupid voters. Obamacare was built on a mountain of lies and even the "stupid ones" had begun to figure it out. So now we urgently must stop discussing the Obamacare fraud and turn to discussing immigration. It is imperative!

So what did our Beloved Leader say about immigration? What is his reform of our creaky system? In two words, "generate confusion." The speech really says nothing. Look at it carefully. He offers lots of platitudes and "little" lies--e.g., our border is secure--but no reform proposals. There is no reform in his reform; no there there. After making the obligatory bow in the direction of those immigrants who played by the rules, and blathering on about accountability and the need to respect the law, he offers up a half-baked proposal to reward those who have broken the law. Even there, however, there is no there there.

We expect people who live in this country to play by the rules. We expect those who cut the line will not be unfairly rewarded. So we’re going to offer the following deal: If you’ve with been in America more than five years. If you have children who are American citizens or illegal residents. If you register, pass a criminal background check and you’re willing to pay your fair share of taxes, you’ll be able to apply to stay in this country temporarily without fear of deportation. You can come out of the shadows and get right with the law. That’s what this deal is.

The deal is no deal, to paraphrase the great Canadian philosopher Howie Mandel. Does anybody sane think that the horribly managed and thoroughly politicized Department of Homeland Security can run such background checks? I can assure you if this "proposal" takes root, there will be a booming business--as happened back in the 1980s with the ill-conceived "one-time, never-again" amnesty--in fraudulent documents, e.g., rental receipts, water bills, to prove that an applicant has been in country for over five years. Criminal background checks? That alone gives the lie to Obama's earlier boasting about his misadministration's deporting of criminal aliens. If an illegal alien has a criminal record why is that person still in country? If one has a criminal record, why would he or she come forward to "apply" for . . . what exactly? What is being offered? A temporary stay free of deportation? The illegal aliens already have that. State that you're willing to pay taxes? What? Most of these people I am willing to wager do not reach the income level of having to pay taxes. They collect public dole, but they do not and will not pay income taxes.

And then we have the lachrymose story of how,

Astrid was brought to America when she was 4 years old. Her only possessions were a cross, her doll, and the frilly dress she had on. When she started school, she didn’t speak any English. She caught up to other kids by reading newspapers and watching PBS. And then she became a good student. Her father worked in landscaping. Her mom cleaned other people’s homes. They wouldn’t let Astrid apply to a technology magnet school, not because they didn’t love her, but because they were afraid the paperwork would out her as an undocumented immigrant. So she applied behind their back and got in.

Who believes that? Her parents did not want her to apply to an elite school for fear of what would happen and she secretly applied and--HORRORS!-- she got in. Nothing happened. Nobody got arrested at 3 am and deported. By the way, I think growing up watching PBS to gain knowledge of the world is justification for deportation, but that's just me . . .

The activists will eventually figure out that they have been conned. The ones to watch, however, are the little bureaucrats, the Lois Lerner types who will be interpreting the Great Oracle's pronouncements, as the fine folks at Legal Insurrection have noted with the fate of "secure communities."

Obama has positioned himself so that no matter what happens on immigration he can claim credit for it or disavow it. The speech is a Seinfeld-like masterpiece of nothing, with the spaces left to be filled in by the observer.

Defund DHS.