On Eating K-9s: How Obama Can Save His Presidency

So our President claims in one of his phony "autobiographical" tomes to have eaten dog. He, or more likely his ghost-writer, probably threw in that story, which might or might not be true, to try to make then little-known Barack Obama an interesting and world experienced sort, "Ah, there I was on the banks of the mighty Zambezi River, at high ebb, mind you, when I realised that the lives in my charge would be lost . . . lost unless I did something drastic. The food was gone, the cognac bottle had been drained of its last dregs long ago, and we had many leagues to go before we could rest secure. I summoned my batman, and told him in clear, mind you, even stentorian tones that carried well past his attentive but dirty ears, 'Wallace, my good fellow, prepare Fluffy as you would a Christmas goose!' A murmur rippled through the ranks of my primitive, child-like charges. I knew what they were thinking, 'This fellow knows what he's about. We, indeed, will be saved!'"


I lived for over three years in Indonesia. Dog-eating is very uncommon; it is a low-rent sort of thing to do, and frowned upon in polite society. The places that serve dog meat in Jakarta are seedy, off the-beaten-track, holes-in-the-wall. You really, really have to be in the mood for a taste of ol' Rover to go there.


Now this stupid story has bitten him in the ankle much like John Kerry's fake stories of feats of derring-do in Vietnam and Christmas in Cambodia.  It is akin to his handlers' other claim that Obama speaks fluent Bahasa Indonesia--he does not.


The Obama team is stuck with this dog tail tale. Either their man has lied, or engaged in something millions of us find repulsive--and right now I am not talking about his health care plan.


Free advice: Lemonade out of lemons. Team Obama should embrace the story; use it as proof that the President is not Muslim since Muslims do not eat dog.  Have big posters and TV ads of him clubbing, skinning, and eating dogs. Have him say, "See, I am not a Muslim after all!" Maybe he could have Reverend Wright and Bill Ayres standing behind him wearing big bibs and holding knives and forks.


There, that's my little suggestion; just trying to help out the commander-in-chief . . .

AP News: New chef hired for the White House.