We wait. The One has the word. The Greatest Leader Ever to Bless our Benighted Land will speak. His kindly face fills our TV screens daily. He will tell us what we need to know: when a scandal is worthy of outrage and when it is just phony; when we can be against gay marriage and when we can be for it; when a criminal is an innocent child and when an innocent man is a criminal; who is black, who is white and who is Native American; how to deal with the growing terror of white violence against black men; how Ho Chi Minh was a devotee of Jefferson; when we can support raising the debt limit and when it is unpatriotic to do so; when a coup is a coup and when it is not; when to blame Bush, well, in fact, we must always blame Bush for he is our Leon Trotsky, our Emmanuel Goldstein; the loss of jobs is really a gain of jobs; we must spend to reduce the deficit; a crazed Muslim terrorist with a gun is really just a sad example of workplace violence . . . The One will tell us, there is no need to worry, He knows The Way, He will not let His eye off the ball . . . He will protect us and feed us and care for us when we are sick; He will watch over our communications to make sure we do not fall into bad company. We are blessed by The One.
He will lead us to the Outer Limits.